Kamar Monyet

some words about beach

2008-10-08T04:55:00.000-07:00

A beach is a geological landform along the shoreline of a body of water. It usually consists of loose particles which are often composed of rock, such as sand, gravel, shingle, pebbles, or cobble. The particles of which the beach is composed can sometimes instead have biological origins, such as shell fragments or coralline algae fragments.

Beaches often occur along coastal areas, where wave or current action deposits and reworks sediments.

Although the seashore is most commonly associated with the word "beach", beaches are not only found by the ocean: beaches also occur at the margin of the land along lakes and rivers where sediments are reworked or deposited.

The term 'beach' may refer to:

small systems in which the rock material moves onshore, offshore, or alongshore by the forces of waves and currents; or
geological units of considerable size.

The former are described in detail below; the larger geological units are discussed elsewhere under bars.

There are several conspicuous parts to a beach, all of which relate to the processes that form and shape it. The part mostly above water (depending upon tide), and more or less actively influenced by the waves at some point in the tide, is termed the beach berm. The berm is the deposit of material comprising the active shoreline. The berm has a crest (top) and a face — the latter being the slope leading down towards the water from the crest. At the very bottom of the face, there may be a trough, and further seaward one or more longshore bars: slightly raised, underwater embankments formed where the waves first start to break.

The sand deposit may extend well inland from the berm crest, where there may be evidence of one or more older crests (the storm beach) resulting from very large storm waves and beyond the influence of the normal waves. At some point the influence of the waves (even storm waves) on the material comprising the beach stops, and if the particles are small enough (sand size or smaller), winds shape the feature. Where wind is the force distributing the grains inland, the deposit behind the beach becomes a dune.

These geomorphic features compose what is called the beach profile. The beach profile changes seasonally due to the change in wave energy experienced during summer and winter months. The beach profile is higher during the summer due to the gentle wave action during this season. The lower energy waves deposit sediment on the beach berm and dune, adding to the beach profile. Conversely, the beach profile is lower in the winter due to the increased wave energy associated with storms. Higher energy waves erode sediment from the beach berm and dune, and deposit it off shore, forming longshore bars. The removal of sediment from the beach berm and dune decreases the beach profile.

The line between beach and dune is difficult to define in the field. Over any significant period of time, sand is always being exchanged between them. The drift line (the high point of material deposited by waves) is one potential demarcation. This would be the point at which significant wind movement of sand could occur, since the normal waves do not wet the sand beyond this area. However, the drift line is likely to move inland under assault by storm waves.

Beach formation

Beaches are deposition landforms, and are the result of wave action by which waves or currents move sand or other loose sediments of which the beach is made as these particles are held in suspension. Alternatively, sand may be moved by saltation (a bouncing movement of large particles). Beach materials come from erosion of rocks offshore, as well as from headland erosion and slumping producing deposits of scree. Some of the whitest sand in the world, along Florida's Emerald Coast, comes from the erosion of quartz in the Appalachian Mountains. A coral reef offshore is a significant source of sand particles.

The shape of a beach depends on whether or not the waves are constructive or destructive, and whether the material is sand or shingle. Constructive waves move material up the beach while destructive waves move the material down the beach. On sandy beaches, the backwash of the waves removes material forming a gently sloping beach. On shingle beaches the swash is dissipated because the large particle size allows percolation, so the backwash is not very powerful, and the beach remains steep. Cusps and horns form where incoming waves divide, depositing sand as horns and scouring out sand to form cusps. This forms the uneven face on some sand shorelines.

There are several beaches which are claimed to be the "World's longest", including Cox's Bazar, Bangladesh (120 km), Fraser Island beach, 90 Mile Beach in Australia and 90 Mile Beach in New Zealand (88 km) and Long Beach, Washington (which is about 40 km). Wasaga Beach, Ontario on Georgian Bay claims to have the world's longest freshwater beach. But the longest beach in the world is in fact Praia do Cassino, a 240km long beach located in southern Brazil, near the border with Uruguay.

Beaches and recreation

In the Victorian era, many popular beach resorts were equipped with bathing machines because even the all-covering beachwear of the period was considered immodest. This social standard still prevails in many Muslim countries. At the other end of the spectrum are topfree beaches and nude beaches where clothing is optional or not allowed. In most countries social norms are significantly different on a beach in hot weather, compared to adjacent areas where similar behaviour might not be tolerated. For example, undressing down to swimwear, showering in public, women exposing their breasts and lying with legs apart, etc.

A walk along the beach is also popular, including a long walk in the case of a long beach, for example from one seaside resort to the next. When and where the sand is not too hot, people often walk barefoot on the beach, because of the pleasant feeling of sand on their soles and between their toes. The best beach walking areas typically are near the shoreline, where the sand is wet and more comfortable to walk in. A person will also enjoy walking with their bare feet in the water.

In more than thirty countries in Europe, South Africa, New Zealand, Canada, Costa Rica, South America and the Caribbean, the best recreational beaches are awarded Blue Flag status, based on such criteria as water quality and safety provision. Subsequent loss of this status can have a severe effect on tourism revenues.

Due to intense use by the expanding human population, beaches are often dumping grounds for waste and litter, necessitating the use of beach cleaners and other cleanup projects. More significantly, many beaches are a discharge zone for untreated sewage in most underdeveloped countries; even in developed countries beach closure is an occasional circumstance due to sanitary sewer overflow. In these cases of marine discharge, waterborne disease from fecal pathogens and contamination of certain marine species is a frequent outcome.

some words about mountain

2008-10-08T04:46:00.000-07:00

A mountain is a landform that extends above the surrounding terrain in a limited area, with a peak. A mountain is generally steeper than a hill, but there is no universally accepted standard definition for the height of a mountain or a hill although a mountain usually has an identifiable summit. Mountains cover 64% of Asia, 36% of North America, 25% of Europe, 22% of South America, 17% of Australia, and 3% of Africa. As a whole, 24% of the Earth's land mass is mountainous. 10% of people live in mountainous regions. Most of the world's rivers are fed from mountain sources, and more than half of humanity depends on mountains for water.^[1]^[2]

The adjective montane is used to describe mountainous areas and things associated with them. Orology is its specialized field of studies, though the term is mostly replaced by "mountain studies". (Not to be confused with horology

Some authorities define a mountain as a peak with a topographic prominence over a defined value: for example, according to the Britannica Student Encyclopedia, the term "generally refers to rises over 2,000 feet (610 m)" The Encyclopædia Britannica, on the other hand, does not prescribe any height, merely stating that "the term has no standardized geological meaning"

In the United States

In the United States, the U.S. Board on Geographic Names lists hundreds of landscape features under 1,000 feet (305 m) (some as low as 100 feet) named as "mountains." This is true for all parts of the United States, including the west coast where such lofty ranges as the Cascade Mountains dominate. And yet the Board does not attempt to distinguish between such features as mountains, hills, or other prominences, and simply categorizes all of them as summit, regardless of what they are called or how high they are. However, the Board does list and categorize such low mountain ranges as the Mount Tom Range (with a high point of 1,200 feet; 366 m) as range

The height of a mountain is measured as the elevation of its summit above mean sea level. The Himalayas average 5 km above sea level, while the Andes average 4 km. The highest mountain on land is Everest, 8,848 metres (29,030 ft) in the Himalayas.

Other definitions of height are possible. The peak that is farthest from the center of the Earth is Chimborazo in Ecuador. At 6,267 metres (20,560 ft) above sea level it is not even the tallest peak in the Andes, but because Chimborazo is very close to the equator and the Earth bulges at the equator, it is 2,150 metres (7,100 ft) further away from the Earth's center than Everest.^[5] The peak that rises farthest from its base is Mauna Kea on Hawaii, whose peak is 10,200 metres (33,500 ft) above its base on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.^[6] Mount Lamlam on Guam also lays claim to the tallest mountain as measured from it base. Although its peak is only 406 metres (1,330 ft) above sea level, it measures 11,530 metres (37,830 ft) to its base at the bottom of the Marianas Trench.^[7]

Even though Everest is the highest mountain on Earth today, there have been much taller mountains in the past. During the Precambrian era, the Canadian Shield once had mountains 12,000 m (39,370 ft)^[8] in height that are now eroded down into rolling hills. These formed by the collision of tectonic plates much like the Himalaya and the Rocky Mountains.

At 26 kilometres (85,000 ft) (Fraknoi et al., 2004), the tallest known mountain in the solar system is Olympus Mons, located on Mars and is an ancient volcano. Volcanoes have been known to erupt on other planets and moons in our solar system and some of them erupt ice instead of lava (see Cryovolcano). Several years ago, the Hale telescope recorded the first known images of a volcano erupting on a moon in our solar system

Characteristics

High mountains, and mountains located closer to the Earth's poles, have elevations that exist in colder layers of the atmosphere. They are consequently often subject to glaciation and erosion through frost action. Such processes produce the popularly recognizable mountain peak shape. Some of these mountains have glacial lakes, created by melting glaciers; for example, there are an estimated 3,000 glacial lakes in Bhutan. Sufficiently tall mountains have very different climatic conditions at the top than at the base, and will thus have different life zones at different altitudes. The flora and fauna found in these zones tend to become isolated since the conditions above and below a particular zone will be inhospitable to those organisms. These isolated ecological systems are known as sky islands and/or microclimates. Tree forests are forests on mountain sides which attract moisture from the trees, creating a unique ecosystem. Very tall mountains may be covered in ice or snow.

Mountains are colder than lower ground, because the Sun heats Earth from the ground up. The Sun's radiation travels through the atmosphere to the ground, where Earth absorbs the heat. Air closest to the Earth's surface is, in general, warmest (see lapse rate for details). Air as high as a mountain is poorly warmed and, therefore, cold.^[9] Air temperature normally drops 1 to 2 degrees Celsius (1.8 to 3.6 degrees Fahrenheit) for each 300 meters (1000 feet) of altitude.

Mountains are generally less preferable for human habitation than lowlands; the weather is often harsher, and there is little level ground suitable for agriculture. At very high altitudes, there is less oxygen in the air and less protection against solar radiation (UV). Acute mountain sickness (caused by hypoxia - a lack of oxygen in the blood) affects over half of lowlanders who spend more than a few hours above 3,500 meters (11,483 feet).

A number of mountains and mountain ranges of the world have been left in their natural state, and are today primarily used for recreation, while others are used for logging, mining, grazing, or see little use of any sort at all. Some mountains offer spectacular views from their summits, while others are densely wooded. Summit accessibility ranges from mountain to mountain; height, steepness, latitude, terrain, weather, and the presence or lack thereof of roads, lifts, or tramways are all factors that affect accessibility. Hiking, backpacking, mountaineering, rock climbing, ice climbing, downhill skiing, and snowboarding are recreational activities typically enjoyed on mountains. Mountains that support heavy recreational use (especially downhill skiing) are often the locations of mountain resorts.

Types of mountains

Mountains can be characterized in several ways. Some mountains are volcanoes and can be characterized by the type of lava and eruptive history. Other mountains are shaped by glacial processes and can be characterized by their glaciated features. Still others are typified by the faulting and folding of the Earth's crust, or by the collision of continental plates via plate tectonics (the Himalayas, for instance). Shape and placement within the overall landscape also define mountains and mountainous structures (such as butte and monadnock). Finally, many mountains can be characterized by the type of rock that make up their composition. More information on mountain types can be found in List of mountain types.

Geology

A mountain is usually produced by the movement of lithospheric plates, either orogenic movement or epeirogenic movement. The compressional forces, isostatic uplift and intrusion of igneous matter forces surface rock upward, creating a landform higher than the surrounding features. The height of the feature makes it either a hill or, if higher and steeper, a mountain. The absolute heights of features termed mountains and hills vary greatly according to an area's terrain. The major mountains tend to occur in long linear arcs, indicating tectonic plate boundaries and activity. Two types of mountain are formed depending on how the rock reacts to the tectonic forces – block mountains or fold mountains.

The compressional forces in continental collisions may cause the compressed region to thicken, so the upper surface is forced upward. In order to balance the weight of the earth surface, much of the compressed rock is forced downward, producing deep "mountain roots" [see the Book of "Earth", Press and Siever page.413]. These roots are deeply embedded in the ground, thus, a mountain have a shape like peg [See Anatomy of the Earth, Cailleus page.220]. Mountains therefore form downward as well as upward (see isostasy). However, in some continental collisions part of one continent may simply override part of the others, crumpling in the process.

Some isolated mountains were produced by volcanoes, including many apparently small islands that reach a great height above the ocean floor.

Block mountains are created when large areas are widely broken up by faults creating large vertical displacements. This occurrence is fairly common. The uplifted blocks are block mountains or horsts. The intervening dropped blocks are termed graben: these can be small or form extensive rift valley systems. This form of landscape can be seen in East Africa, the Vosges, the Basin and Range province of Western North America and the Rhine valley. These areas often occur when the regional stress is extensional and the crust is thinned.

The mid-ocean ridges are often referred to as undersea mountain ranges due to their bathymetric prominence.

Where rock does not fault it folds, either symmetrically or asymmetrically. The upfolds are anticlines and the downfolds are synclines; in asymmetric folding there may also be recumbent and overturned folds. The Jura mountains are an example of folding. Over time, erosion can bring about an inversion of relief: the soft upthrust rock is worn away so the anticlines are actually lower than the tougher, more compressed rock of the synclines.

Samsung G800 Review

2008-10-08T03:23:00.000-07:00

The world's first phone to offer a 5 megapixel camera with optical zoom, the G800 sets the benchmark for camera phones. It's also a beautifully designed slide phone that's fully equipped with an MP3 player, FM radio, accelerated 3G (HSDPA), 160 Mbytes of internal memory plus a memory card slot, and Bluetooth wireless connectivity.
Samsung have taken the phone world by storm by announcing at the end of October 2007 the release of the world's first 5 megapixel camera with optical zoom in a mobile phone. If the plan was to draw attention away from the release of the iPhone, then this has certainly done the trick! Launching in the UK on 12th November 2007, the G800 will be the most advanced camera phone in the world.

Samsung have pulled off both a technological and design marvel with the G800. Its closest rivals are the Nokia N95 and Sony Ericsson K850i, which both have 5 megapixel cameras. But the G800 trumps them with the introduction of a 3x optical zoom. An optical zoom is common in dedicated digital cameras, but is very rare in camera phones, because of size constraints. It enables the camera lens to zoom into a scene retaining the full 5 megapixel resolution. By contrast, the digital zoom used in the N95 and K850i (and other camera phones) loses resolution when zooming. The G800 is also the first Samsung phone to have a real xenon flash instead of the weaker LCD flashes usually seen in camera phones. Samsung are one of the key manufacturers of digital cameras, and they have clearly used their expertise in the field to create a world beater with the G800. Other new features that have been imported from the digital camera world are face detection, and Wide Dynamic Range (WDR). Face detection detects the presence of a face in a subject and adjusts the exposure and focus to optimise the appearance of the face.

However, we have to point out that judging from our user reviews, a lot of people have trouble getting good quality pictures from the G800, particularly in low lighting conditions. How can we explain this? One issue that Samsung really need to sort out is to make the highest resolution the default setting on their camera phones, because the default setting is low resolution. If you don't change the setting, you're effectively using a VGA camera! Another problem is that the G800 incorporates a lot of camera features (anti-shake, face detection, WDR, ISO settings, etc) and this means lots of settings to worry about and lots of things potentially to go wrong. So if you're looking for a point-and-shoot camera, look elsewhere. We've decided to deduct one point from our rating for this reason. Many of these comments also apply to the Sony Ericsson K850i, which has also generated a lot of complaints from our users about the camera quality - again in low lighting conditions. Our conclusion is that phone manufacturers should concentrate on making their camera phones as simple to use as possible, as juggling settings isn't really what you want to be doing with a camera phone. But for camera enthusiasts, we still rate the G800 as one of the top 3 camera phones of 2008 (the Nokia N95 and Sony Ericsson K850i being the other two.)
As you can see from the photos, not only is this the highest spec camera phone, but it's also a sexy-looking slider that beats its rivals hands down in terms of looks. It may not be the slimmest phone around, but it's certainly more compact than the N95 and is a good size for two-handed camera use. Turn the phone over and the back is like a real digital camera, complete with a sliding lens cover. The secret to making such a compact device is that the optical zoom is an inner zoom, where the lens does not extend outside the body of the phone.

The G800 also has a new camera Graphical User Interface which provides the same environment as a digital camera when using the camera function on the phone. An On Screen Display shows various camera indicators in a horizontal preview mode. The large 2.4 inch LCD display is ideal for viewing images. There's a built-in picture editor, and direct printing to a Pictbridge-compatible printer is supported. High quality video recording is also available, and a built-in video editor is provided too.

As well as the photographic functions, the G800 incorporates all of the features seen in previous high-end Samsung phones. The music player supports all major formats (MP3, AAC, AAC+, 3-AAC+, WMA formats) and wireless Bluetooth stereo headsets. A stereo FM radio is also included. The G800 is superbly equipped with memory too: 160 Mbytes of internal memory is sufficient to hold around 40 music tracks, and you can expand this with a microSD memory card.

Connectivity is excellent too, with support for Bluetooth 2.0, USB 2.0 and TV-Out. Interestingly the G800 is a 3G phone too, in fact it supports the latest high-speed 3G nicknamed 3.5G. Specifically, the 3G implementation is 7.2 Mbps HSDPA, which offers download equivalent to broadband speeds. A web browser is built-in, and the phone can handle RSS feeds and mobile blogging. Email with support for attachments is available and a document viewer can view most common file formats (Word, Excel, Powerpoint & PDF).

The G800 is an outstanding phone. After a year in which Samsung appeared to stumble, at the close of 2007 it has launched a product that sets the standards in camera phone for the year ahead.

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Features of the Samsung G800 include:

* 5 megapixel camera phone with 3x optical zoom, autofocus and Xenon flash
* Video camera with built-in video editing
* Display: TFT, 256k colours, 320 x 240 pixels (2.4 inches)
* MP3 player (MP3, AAC, AAC+, 3-AAC+, WMA formats)
* Stereo FM radio
* Speakerphone
* Messaging: SMS, MMS, email (POP3 / SMTP / IMAP4)
* Document viewer
* Java games (Java MIDP 2.0)
* Personal organiser functions
* Offline mode
* WAP 2.0, GPRS Class 10, EDGE
* High Speed Downlink Packet Access (HSDPA, 7.2 Mbps) - 3.5G
* xHTML web browser, RSS feeds, mobile blogging
* Memory: 160 Mbytes plus microSD memory card slot
* Connectivity: Bluetooth 2.0, USB 2.0, TV-Out
* Triband (GSM 900 / GSM 1800 / GSM 1900) plus 3G
* Size: 102 x 52 x 19 mm
* Weight: 134g

Samsung Omnia Review

2008-10-08T02:34:00.000-07:00

The Samsung Omnia is the hottest phone of 2008. It's a touchscreen smartphone and, unlike the iPhone, it does everything that a high-spec phone ought to do. The Omnia has everything: a 5 megapixel camera, 3G video calling, a music player & FM radio, fast web browsing, the most memory ever seen on a mobile phone, and it connects to any device you can think of via Bluetooth, USB or Wi-Fi.
Best buy: *Free* with half-price line rental from Dialaphone (Black) or Dialaphone (White) or Mobiles.co.uk.

Wow! While Apple have been hyping their iPhone 3G for the best part of a year, the Samsung Omnia has come from nowhere, and is the phone that the iPhone should have been. Whereas the iPhone misses out on all kinds of essential features, the Omnia does almost everything that you could want from a phone, and does it very well.

The Omnia looks super-cool too. The sleek platinum finish and the slim body give the phone wow! factor, even before you start using it.

Samsung have been churning out touchscreen phones since the beginning of 2008. First the Armani, then the Nerva, then the Tocco, each time refining the design and getting closer to the perfect phone. Now the Omnia looks like it could be "the one". Samsung's touchscreen user interface has improved a little with each release, although we criticised the Tocco for having a smaller screen. There is no problem with the Omnia however, which has a massive WQVGA 3.2 inch screen - that's even bigger than the LG Viewty and only slightly smaller than the iPhone 3G. The TouchWiz user interface is an excellent implementation of a touchscreen phone. TouchWiz uses a variety of intuitive touch controls, e.g. tap, sweep, drag and drop operations as well as an on-screen qwerty keyboard. The screen uses tactile feedback to help you feel your way around the menus and controls, and even hard-core texters should be happy with the result. The iPhone may have paved the way in touchscreen UI design, but Samsung have followed very well.

The Omnia is a smartphone running Windows Mobile 6.1. This has a number of advantages. Firstly, the user interface will be familiar to PC users, even including a mobile version of Internet Explorer for web browsing. Secondly, the system enables convenient access to Office documents such as PowerPoint, Excel and Word (for editing as well as viewing). Thirdly, you can download third-party applications and install them on your phone. The phone comes pre-installed with very comprehensive personal organiser functions. The downside is that all smartphones have a tendency to be slow and buggy. Nokia N95 users will be familiar with this!

Let's take a look at the multimedia capabilities of the phone now. Summarising in three words: it does everything! Really! Let's consider the spec: A 5 megapixel camera with face-detection autofocus, smile detection (takes a shot when everyone is smiling), auto-panorama, LED flash and digital zoom. It may not have the optical zoom of the Samsung G800, the optics of the Nokia N95, or the xenon flash of the Sony Ericsson K800i, but we would rate it in the top 10 of current camera phones. In any case, it walks all over the feeble camera in the iPhone 3G. The camera can be used as a business card reader too. It also has an excellent video camera (with image stabilisation), and the video playback capability includes Divx support. Of course it's a 3G phone with video calling too. The music player is very good and supports nearly all formats, and an FM radio is included too. Web browsing is also an enjoyable experience on the Omnia, with fast HSDPA downloads, the large touchscreen, and advanced Opera browser all working together to provide a good experience. The Omnia also comes with GPS navigation built in.

One of the outstanding features of the Omnia is the absolutely huge memory that it supports. Available in a choice of 8 or 16 Gbytes, it also has a microSD memory card slot, enabling an additional 8 Gbytes to be added. This means that you can store a huge amount of music or video (around 8,000 songs or 23 DVD-quality films) and you can even store up to 120 Mbytes worth of text or MMS messages.

The battery life is very good too, which is quite a surprise for a touchscreen phone with so much functionality. We doubt Samsung's official figures of 450 hours standby however.

Connectivity is unbeatable, with a choice of Bluetooth, USB and Wi-Fi.

Really, the Omnia is an amazing phone, and it's no surprise that it's moved right to the top of the best seller charts at launch. Touchscreen phones are the hottest product in 2008, and the Omnia is arguably the best so far. If you fancied the new iPhone or the LG Viewty, you should really be looking at the Omnia instead. The only issue is the Windows Mobile operating system, which is admittedly very powerful, but is not the most stable operating system ever invented. But even so, this is definitely a 5 star phone!!!

Some Words of Cancer

2008-10-08T02:00:00.000-07:00

Cancer (medical term: malignant neoplasm) is a class of diseases in which a group of cells display uncontrolled growth (division beyond the normal limits), invasion (intrusion on and destruction of adjacent tissues), and sometimes metastasis (spread to other locations in the body via lymph or blood). These three malignant properties of cancers differentiate them from benign tumors, which are self-limited, do not invade or metastasize. Most cancers form a tumor but some, like leukemia, do not. The branch of medicine concerned with the study, diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of cancer is oncology.

Cancer may affect people at all ages, even fetuses, but the risk for most varieties increases with age.^[1] Cancer causes about 13% of all deaths.^[2] According to the American Cancer Society, 7.6 million people died from cancer in the world during 2007.^[3] Cancers can affect all animals.

Nearly all cancers are caused by abnormalities in the genetic material of the transformed cells. These abnormalities may be due to the effects of carcinogens, such as tobacco smoke, radiation, chemicals, or infectious agents. Other cancer-promoting genetic abnormalities may be randomly acquired through errors in DNA replication, or are inherited, and thus present in all cells from birth. The heritability of cancers are usually affected by complex interactions between carcinogens and the host's genome. New aspects of the genetics of cancer pathogenesis, such as DNA methylation, and microRNAs are increasingly recognized as important.

Genetic abnormalities found in cancer typically affect two general classes of genes. Cancer-promoting oncogenes are typically activated in cancer cells, giving those cells new properties, such as hyperactive growth and division, protection against programmed cell death, loss of respect for normal tissue boundaries, and the ability to become established in diverse tissue environments. Tumor suppressor genes are then inactivated in cancer cells, resulting in the loss of normal functions in those cells, such as accurate DNA replication, control over the cell cycle, orientation and adhesion within tissues, and interaction with protective cells of the immune system.

Diagnosis usually requires the histologic examination of a tissue biopsy specimen by a pathologist, although the initial indication of malignancy can be symptoms or radiographic imaging abnormalities. Most cancers can be treated and some cured, depending on the specific type, location, and stage. Once diagnosed, cancer is usually treated with a combination of surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. As research develops, treatments are becoming more specific for different varieties of cancer. There has been significant progress in the development of targeted therapy drugs that act specifically on detectable molecular abnormalities in certain tumors, and which minimize damage to normal cells. The prognosis of cancer patients is most influenced by the type of cancer, as well as the stage, or extent of the disease. In addition, histologic grading and the presence of specific molecular markers can also be useful in establishing prognosis, as well as in determining individual treatments.

Classification

Cancer is generally classified according to the tissue from which the cancerous cells originate, the primary tumor, as well as the normal cell type they most resemble. These are location and histology, respectively.

Nomenclature

The following closely related terms may be used to designate abnormal growths:

Tumor or tumour: originally, it meant any abnormal swelling, lump or mass. In current English, however, the word tumor has become synonymous with neoplasm, specifically solid neoplasm. Note that some neoplasms, such as leukemia, do not form tumors.
Neoplasm: the scientific term to describe an abnormal proliferation of genetically altered cells. Neoplasms can be benign or malignant:
- Malignant neoplasm or malignant tumor: synonymous with cancer.
- Benign neoplasm or benign tumor: a tumor (solid neoplasm) that stops growing by itself, does not invade other tissues and does not form metastases.
Invasive tumor is another synonym of cancer. The name refers to invasion of surrounding tissues.
Pre-malignancy, pre-cancer or non-invasive tumor: A neoplasm that is not invasive but has the potential to progress to cancer (become invasive) if left untreated. These lesions are, in order of increasing potential for cancer, atypia, dysplasia and carcinoma in situ.

The following terms can be used to describe a cancer:

Screening: a test done on healthy people to detect tumors before they become apparent. A mammogram is a screening test.
Diagnosis: the confirmation of the cancerous nature of a lump. This usually requires a biopsy or removal of the tumor by surgery, followed by examination by a pathologist.
Surgical excision: the removal of a tumor by a surgeon.
- Surgical margins: the evaluation by a pathologist of the edges of the tissue removed by the surgeon to determine if the tumor was removed completely ("negative margins") or if tumor was left behind ("positive margins").
Grade: a number (usually on a scale of 3) established by a pathologist to describe the degree of resemblance of the tumor to the surrounding benign tissue.
Stage: a number (usually on a scale of 4) established by the oncologist to describe the degree of invasion of the body by the tumor.
Recurrence: new tumors that appear at the site of the original tumor after surgery.
Metastasis: new tumors that appear far from the original tumor.
Transformation: the concept that a low-grade tumor transforms to a high-grade tumor over time. Example: Richter's transformation.
Chemotherapy: treatment with drugs.
Radiation therapy: treatment with radiations.
Adjuvant therapy: treatment, either chemotherapy or radiation therapy, given after surgery to kill the remaining cancer cells.
Prognosis: the probability of cure after the therapy. It is usually expressed as a probability of survival five years after diagnosis. Alternatively, it can be expressed as the number of years when 50% of the patients are still alive. Both numbers are derived from statistics accumulated with hundreds of similar patients to give a Kaplan-Meier curve.

Cancers are classified by the type of cell that resembles the tumor and, therefore, the tissue presumed to be the origin of the tumor. Examples of general categories include:

Carcinoma: Malignant tumors derived from epithelial cells. This group represents the most common cancers, including the common forms of breast, prostate, lung and colon cancer.
Sarcoma: Malignant tumors derived from connective tissue, or mesenchymal cells.
Lymphoma and leukemia: Malignancies derived from hematopoietic (blood-forming) cells
Germ cell tumor: Tumors derived from totipotent cells. In adults most often found in the testicle and ovary; in fetuses, babies, and young children most often found on the body midline, particularly at the tip of the tailbone; in horses most often found at the poll (base of the skull).
Blastic tumor or blastoma: A tumor (usually malignant) which resembles an immature or embryonic tissue. Many of these tumors are most common in children.

Malignant tumors (cancers) are usually named using -carcinoma, -sarcoma or -blastoma as a suffix, with the Latin or Greek word for the organ of origin as the root. For instance, a cancer of the liver is called hepatocarcinoma; a cancer of the fat cells is called liposarcoma. For common cancers, the English organ name is used. For instance, the most common type of breast cancer is called ductal carcinoma of the breast or mammary ductal carcinoma. Here, the adjective ductal refers to the appearance of the cancer under the microscope, resembling normal breast ducts.

Benign tumors (which are not cancers) are named using -oma as a suffix with the organ name as the root. For instance, a benign tumor of the smooth muscle of the uterus is called leiomyoma (the common name of this frequent tumor is fibroid). Unfortunately, some cancers also use the -oma suffix, examples being melanoma and seminoma.

Child cancers

Cancer can also occur in young children and adolescents, but it is rare (about 150 cases per million yearly in the US). Statistics from the SEER program of the US NCI demonstrate that childhood cancers increased 19% between 1975 and 1990, mainly due to an increased incidence in acute leukemia. Since 1990, incidence rates have decreased.^[5]

There is a reasonable doubt that children living near nuclear facilities face an increased risk of cancer.^[6]

Infant cancers

The age of peak incidence of cancer in children occurs during the first year of life, in infants. The average annual incidence in the United States, 1975-1995, was 233 per million infants.^[5] Several estimates of incidence exist. According to SEER,^[5] in the United States:

Neuroblastoma comprised 28% of infant cancer cases and was the most common malignancy among these young children (65 per million infants).
The leukemias as a group (41 per million infants) represented the next most common type of cancer, comprising 17% of all cases.
Central nervous system malignancies comprised 13% of infant cancer, with an average annual incidence rate of nearly 30 per million infants.
The average annual incidence rates for malignant germ cell and malignant soft tissue tumors were essentially the same at 15 per million infants. Each comprised about 6% of infant cancer.

According to another study:^[4]

Leukemia (usually ALL) is the most common infant malignancy (30%), followed by the central nervous system cancers and neuroblastoma. The remainder consists of Wilms' tumor, lymphomas, rhabdomyosarcoma (arising from muscle), retinoblastoma, osteosarcoma and Ewing's sarcoma.

Teratoma (a germ cell tumor) often is cited as the most common tumor in this age group, but most teratomas are surgically removed while still benign, hence not necessarily cancer. Prior to the widespread routine use of prenatal ultrasound examinations, the incidence of sacrococcygeal teratomas diagnosed at birth was 25 to 29 per million births.

Female and male infants have essentially the same overall cancer incidence rates, a notable difference compared to older children.

White infants have higher cancer rates than black infants. Leukemias accounted for a substantial proportion of this difference: the average annual rate for white infants (48.7 per million) was 66% higher than for black infants (29.4 per million).^[5]

Relative survival for infants is very good for neuroblastoma, Wilms' tumor and retinoblastoma, and fairly good (80%) for leukemia, but not for most other types of cancer.

Signs and symptoms

Roughly, cancer symptoms can be divided into three groups:

Local symptoms: unusual lumps or swelling (tumor), hemorrhage (bleeding), pain and/or ulceration. Compression of surrounding tissues may cause symptoms such as jaundice (yellowing the eyes and skin).
Symptoms of metastasis (spreading): enlarged lymph nodes, cough and hemoptysis, hepatomegaly (enlarged liver), bone pain, fracture of affected bones and neurological symptoms. Although advanced cancer may cause pain, it is often not the first symptom.
Systemic symptoms: weight loss, poor appetite, fatigue and cachexia (wasting), excessive sweating (night sweats), anemia and specific paraneoplastic phenomena, i.e. specific conditions that are due to an active cancer, such as thrombosis or hormonal changes.

Every symptom in the above list can be caused by a variety of conditions (a list of which is referred to as the differential diagnosis). Cancer may be a common or uncommon cause of each item.

Diagnosis

Most cancers are initially recognized either because signs or symptoms appear or through screening. Neither of these lead to a definitive diagnosis, which usually requires the opinion of a pathologist, a type of physician (medical doctor) who specializes in the diagnosis of cancer and other diseases.

Investigation

People with suspected cancer are investigated with medical tests. These commonly include blood tests, X-rays, CT scans and endoscopy.

Biopsy

A cancer may be suspected for a variety of reasons, but the definitive diagnosis of most malignancies must be confirmed by histological examination of the cancerous cells by a pathologist. Tissue can be obtained from a biopsy or surgery. Many biopsies (such as those of the skin, breast or liver) can be done in a doctor's office. Biopsies of other organs are performed under anesthesia and require surgery in an operating room.

The tissue diagnosis given by the pathologist indicates the type of cell that is proliferating, its histological grade and other features of the tumor. Together, this information is useful to evaluate the prognosis of this patient and to choose the best treatment. Cytogenetics and immunohistochemistry are other types of testing that the pathologist may perform on the tissue specimen. These tests may provide information about future behavior of the cancer (prognosis) and best treatment.

Treatment

Cancer can be treated by surgery, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, immunotherapy, monoclonal antibody therapy or other methods. The choice of therapy depends upon the location and grade of the tumor and the stage of the disease, as well as the general state of the patient (performance status). A number of experimental cancer treatments are also under development.

Complete removal of the cancer without damage to the rest of the body is the goal of treatment. Sometimes this can be accomplished by surgery, but the propensity of cancers to invade adjacent tissue or to spread to distant sites by microscopic metastasis often limits its effectiveness. The effectiveness of chemotherapy is often limited by toxicity to other tissues in the body. Radiation can also cause damage to normal tissue.

Because "cancer" refers to a class of diseases, it is unlikely that there will ever be a single "cure for cancer" any more than there will be a single treatment for all infectious diseases.

Surgery

In theory, non-hematological cancers can be cured if entirely removed by surgery, but this is not always possible. When the cancer has metastasized to other sites in the body prior to surgery, complete surgical excision is usually impossible. In the Halstedian model of cancer progression, tumors grow locally, then spread to the lymph nodes, then to the rest of the body. This has given rise to the popularity of local-only treatments such as surgery for small cancers. Even small localized tumors are increasingly recognized as possessing metastatic potential.

Examples of surgical procedures for cancer include mastectomy for breast cancer and prostatectomy for prostate cancer. The goal of the surgery can be either the removal of only the tumor, or the entire organ. A single cancer cell is invisible to the naked eye but can regrow into a new tumor, a process called recurrence. For this reason, the pathologist will examine the surgical specimen to determine if a margin of healthy tissue is present, thus decreasing the chance that microscopic cancer cells are left in the patient.

In addition to removal of the primary tumor, surgery is often necessary for staging, e.g. determining the extent of the disease and whether it has metastasized to regional lymph nodes. Staging is a major determinant of prognosis and of the need for adjuvant therapy.

Occasionally, surgery is necessary to control symptoms, such as spinal cord compression or bowel obstruction. This is referred to as palliative treatment.

Radiation therapy

Main article: Radiation therapy

Radiation therapy (also called radiotherapy, X-ray therapy, or irradiation) is the use of ionizing radiation to kill cancer cells and shrink tumors. Radiation therapy can be administered externally via external beam radiotherapy (EBRT) or internally via brachytherapy. The effects of radiation therapy are localised and confined to the region being treated. Radiation therapy injures or destroys cells in the area being treated (the "target tissue") by damaging their genetic material, making it impossible for these cells to continue to grow and divide. Although radiation damages both cancer cells and normal cells, most normal cells can recover from the effects of radiation and function properly. The goal of radiation therapy is to damage as many cancer cells as possible, while limiting harm to nearby healthy tissue. Hence, it is given in many fractions, allowing healthy tissue to recover between fractions.

Radiation therapy may be used to treat almost every type of solid tumor, including cancers of the brain, breast, cervix, larynx, lung, pancreas, prostate, skin, stomach, uterus, or soft tissue sarcomas. Radiation is also used to treat leukemia and lymphoma. Radiation dose to each site depends on a number of factors, including the radiosensitivity of each cancer type and whether there are tissues and organs nearby that may be damaged by radiation. Thus, as with every form of treatment, radiation therapy is not without its side effects.

Chemotherapy

Main article: Chemotherapy

Chemotherapy is the treatment of cancer with drugs ("anticancer drugs") that can destroy cancer cells. In current usage, the term "chemotherapy" usually refers to cytotoxic drugs which affect rapidly dividing cells in general, in contrast with targeted therapy (see below). Chemotherapy drugs interfere with cell division in various possible ways, e.g. with the duplication of DNA or the separation of newly formed chromosomes. Most forms of chemotherapy target all rapidly dividing cells and are not specific for cancer cells, although some degree of specificity may come from the inability of many cancer cells to repair DNA damage, while normal cells generally can. Hence, chemotherapy has the potential to harm healthy tissue, especially those tissues that have a high replacement rate (e.g. intestinal lining). These cells usually repair themselves after chemotherapy.

Because some drugs work better together than alone, two or more drugs are often given at the same time. This is called "combination chemotherapy"; most chemotherapy regimens are given in a combination.

The treatment of some leukaemias and lymphomas requires the use of high-dose chemotherapy, and total body irradiation (TBI). This treatment ablates the bone marrow, and hence the body's ability to recover and repopulate the blood. For this reason, bone marrow, or peripheral blood stem cell harvesting is carried out before the ablative part of the therapy, to enable "rescue" after the treatment has been given. This is known as autologous stem cell transplantation. Alternatively, hematopoietic stem cells may be transplanted from a matched unrelated donor (MUD).

Targeted therapies

Main article: Targeted therapy

Targeted therapy, which first became available in the late 1990s, has had a significant impact in the treatment of some types of cancer, and is currently a very active research area. This constitutes the use of agents specific for the deregulated proteins of cancer cells. Small molecule targeted therapy drugs are generally inhibitors of enzymatic domains on mutated, overexpressed, or otherwise critical proteins within the cancer cell. Prominent examples are the tyrosine kinase inhibitors imatinib and gefitinib.

Monoclonal antibody therapy is another strategy in which the therapeutic agent is an antibody which specifically binds to a protein on the surface of the cancer cells. Examples include the anti-HER2/neu antibody trastuzumab (Herceptin) used in breast cancer, and the anti-CD20 antibody rituximab, used in a variety of B-cell malignancies.

Targeted therapy can also involve small peptides as "homing devices" which can bind to cell surface receptors or affected extracellular matrix surrounding the tumor. Radionuclides which are attached to this peptides (e.g. RGDs) eventually kill the cancer cell if the nuclide decays in the vicinity of the cell. Especially oligo- or multimers of these binding motifs are of great interest, since this can lead to enhanced tumor specificity and avidity.

Photodynamic therapy (PDT) is a ternary treatment for cancer involving a photosensitizer, tissue oxygen, and light (often using lasers). PDT can be used as treatment for basal cell carcinoma (BCC) or lung cancer; PDT can also be useful in removing traces of malignant tissue after surgical removal of large tumors.^[7]

Immunotherapy

Main article: Cancer immunotherapy

Cancer immunotherapy refers to a diverse set of therapeutic strategies designed to induce the patient's own immune system to fight the tumor. Contemporary methods for generating an immune response against tumours include intravesical BCG immunotherapy for superficial bladder cancer, and use of interferons and other cytokines to induce an immune response in renal cell carcinoma and melanoma patients. Vaccines to generate specific immune responses are the subject of intensive research for a number of tumours, notably malignant melanoma and renal cell carcinoma. Sipuleucel-T is a vaccine-like strategy in late clinical trials for prostate cancer in which dendritic cells from the patient are loaded with prostatic acid phosphatase peptides to induce a specific immune response against prostate-derived cells.

Allogeneic hematopoietic stem cell transplantation ("bone marrow transplantation" from a genetically non-identical donor) can be considered a form of immunotherapy, since the donor's immune cells will often attack the tumor in a phenomenon known as graft-versus-tumor effect. For this reason, allogeneic HSCT leads to a higher cure rate than autologous transplantation for several cancer types, although the side effects are also more severe.

Hormonal therapy

Main article: Hormonal therapy (oncology)

The growth of some cancers can be inhibited by providing or blocking certain hormones. Common examples of hormone-sensitive tumors include certain types of breast and prostate cancers. Removing or blocking estrogen or testosterone is often an important additional treatment. In certain cancers, administration of hormone agonists, such as progestogens may be therapeutically beneficial.

Angiogenesis inhibitors

Main article: Angiogenesis inhibitor

Angiogenesis inhibitors prevent the extensive growth of blood vessels (angiogenesis) that tumors require to survive. Some, such as bevacizumab, have been approved and are in clinical use. One of the main problems with anti-angiogenesis drugs is that many factors stimulate blood vessel growth, in normal cells and cancer. Anti-angiogenesis drugs only target one factor, so the other factors continue to stimulate blood vessel growth. Other problems include route of administration, maintenance of stability and activity and targeting at the tumor vasculature.^[8]

Symptom control

Although the control of the symptoms of cancer is not typically thought of as a treatment directed at the cancer, it is an important determinant of the quality of life of cancer patients, and plays an important role in the decision whether the patient is able to undergo other treatments. Although doctors generally have the therapeutic skills to reduce pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, hemorrhage and other common problems in cancer patients, the multidisciplinary specialty of palliative care has arisen specifically in response to the symptom control needs of this group of patients.

Pain medication, such as morphine and oxycodone, and antiemetics, drugs to suppress nausea and vomiting, are very commonly used in patients with cancer-related symptoms. Improved antiemetics such as ondansetron and analogues, as well as aprepitant have made aggressive treatments much more feasible in cancer patients.

Chronic pain due to cancer is almost always associated with continuing tissue damage due to the disease process or the treatment (i.e. surgery, radiation, chemotherapy). Although there is always a role for environmental factors and affective disturbances in the genesis of pain behaviors, these are not usually the predominant etiologic factors in patients with cancer pain. Furthermore, many patients with severe pain associated with cancer are nearing the end of their lives and palliative therapies are required. Issues such as social stigma of using opioids, work and functional status, and health care consumption are not likely to be important in the overall case management. Hence, the typical strategy for cancer pain management is to get the patient as comfortable as possible using opioids and other medications, surgery, and physical measures. Doctors have been reluctant to prescribe narcotics for pain in terminal cancer patients, for fear of contributing to addiction or suppressing respiratory function. The palliative care movement, a more recent offshoot of the hospice movement, has engendered more widespread support for preemptive pain treatment for cancer patients.

Fatigue is a very common problem for cancer patients, and has only recently become important enough for oncologists to suggest treatment, even though it plays a significant role in many patients' quality of life.

Treatment trials

Main article: Experimental cancer treatment

Clinical trials, also called research studies, test new treatments in people with cancer. The goal of this research is to find better ways to treat cancer and help cancer patients. Clinical trials test many types of treatment such as new drugs, new approaches to surgery or radiation therapy, new combinations of treatments, or new methods such as gene therapy.

A clinical trial is one of the final stages of a long and careful cancer research process. The search for new treatments begins in the laboratory, where scientists first develop and test new ideas. If an approach seems promising, the next step may be testing a treatment in animals to see how it affects cancer in a living being and whether it has harmful effects. Of course, treatments that work well in the lab or in animals do not always work well in people. Studies are done with cancer patients to find out whether promising treatments are safe and effective.

Patients who take part may be helped personally by the treatment they receive. They get up-to-date care from cancer experts, and they receive either a new treatment being tested or the best available standard treatment for their cancer. At the same time, new treatments also may have unknown risks, but if a new treatment proves effective or more effective than standard treatment, study patients who receive it may be among the first to benefit. There is no guarantee that a new treatment being tested or a standard treatment will produce good results. In children with cancer, a survey of trials found that those enrolled in trials were on average not more likely to do better or worse than those on standard treatment; this confirms that success or failure of an experimental treatment cannot be predicted.^[9]

Complementary and alternative

Main article: Unproven cancer therapy

Complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) treatments are the diverse group of medical and health care systems, practices, and products that are not part of conventional medicine.^[10] "Complementary medicine" refers to methods and substances used along with conventional medicine, while "alternative medicine" refers to compounds used instead of conventional medicine.^[11] CAM use is common among people with cancer; a 2000 study found that 69% cancer patients had used at least one CAM therapy as part of their cancer treatment.^[12] Most complementary and alternative medicines for cancer have not been rigorously studied or tested. Some alternative treatments which have been investigated and shown to be ineffective continue to be marketed and promoted.^[13]

Prognosis

Cancer has a reputation for being a deadly disease. While this certainly applies to certain particular types, the truths behind the historical connotations of cancer are increasingly being overturned by advances in medical care. Some types of cancer have a prognosis that is substantially better than nonmalignant diseases such as heart failure and stroke.

Progressive and disseminated malignant disease has a substantial impact on a cancer patient's quality of life, and many cancer treatments (such as chemotherapy) may have severe side-effects. In the advanced stages of cancer, many patients need extensive care, affecting family members and friends. Palliative care solutions may include permanent or "respite" hospice nursing.

Emotional impact

Many local organizations offer a variety of practical and support services to people with cancer. Support can take the form of support groups, counseling, advice, financial assistance, transportation to and from treatment, films or information about cancer. Neighborhood organizations, local health care providers, or area hospitals may have resources or services available.

Counseling can provide emotional support to cancer patients and help them better understand their illness. Different types of counseling include individual, group, family, peer counseling, bereavement, patient-to-patient, and sexuality.

Many governmental and charitable organizations have been established to help patients cope with cancer. These organizations often are involved in cancer prevention, cancer treatment, and cancer research.

Some Words about Homelessness

2008-10-08T01:51:00.004-07:00

Homelessness is the condition and social category of people who lack housing, because they cannot afford, or are otherwise unable to maintain, regular, safe, and adequate shelter. The term "homelessness" may also include people whose primary nighttime residence is in a homeless shelter, in an institution that provides a temporary residence for individuals intended to be institutionalized, or in a public or private place not designed for use as a regular sleeping accommodation for human beings.A small number of people choose to be homeless nomads, such as some Romani people (Gypsies) and members of some subcultures.An estimated 100 million people worldwide are homeless.

The United States Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) defines a "chronically homeless" person as "an unaccompanied homeless individual with a disabling condition who has either been continuously homeless for a year or more, or has had at least four episodes of homelessness in the past three years

The term "homelessness" includes the people whose primary daytime residence is in an institution that provides a residence for individuals intended to be institutionalized, or in a public or private place not designed for use as a regular sleeping conditions for human beings.

Other names for homelessness

The term used to describe homeless people in academic articles and government reports is "homeless people". Popular slang terms for the homeless include: vagrant, tramp, hobo (U.S.), transient, bum (U.S.), bagman/bagwoman, street walker, urban outdoorsmen , or the wandering poor. The term '(of) No Fixed Abode' (NFA) is used in legal circumstances. Sometimes the term "houseless" is used to reflect a more accurate condition in some cases.

The major reasons and lack of causes for homelessness as documented by many reports and studies include:

Lack of affordable housing.
Unavailability of employment opportunities.
Poverty, caused by many factors including unemployment and underemployment.
Lack of affordable healthcare.
Substance abuse and unavailability or lack of needed services.
Mental illness, such as and unavailability or lack of needed mental health services.
Domestic violence.
Prison release and re-entry into society.
The mass deinstitutionalisation of the mentally ill in the Western world from the 1960s and 1970s onwards.
Natural disaster.
Forced eviction - In many countries, people lose their homes by government order to make way for newer upscale high rise buildings, roadways, and other governmental needs. The compensation may be minimal, in which case the former occupants cannot find appropriate new housing and become homeless.
Mortgage foreclosures where mortgage holders see the best solution to a loan default is to take and sell the house to pay off the debt. The popular press made an issue of this in 2008; the real magnitude of the problem is undocumented.

A substantial percentage of the U.S. homeless population are individuals who are chronically unemployed or have difficulty managing their lives effectively due to prolonged and severe drug and/or alcohol abuse. Substance abuse can cause homelessness from behavioral patterns associated with addiction that alienate an addicted individual's family and friends who could otherwise provide support during difficult economic times.

Increased wealth disparity and income inequality causes distortions in the housing market that push rent burdens higher, making housing unaffordable.

Problems faced by homeless people

Homeless people face many problems beyond the lack of a safe and suitable home. They are often faced with many social disadvantages and reduced access to private and public services such as:

Reduced access to health care.
Limited access to education.
Increased risk of suffering from violence and abuse.
General discrimination from other people.
Not being seen as suitable for employment.
Reduced access to banking services to save money.
Reduced access to communications technology, such as telephones and the internet.

Violent crimes against the homeless

There have been many violent crimes committed against the homeless. A recent study in 2007 found that this number is increasing.

Assistance and resources available to the homeless

Most countries provide a variety of services to assist homeless people. They often provide food, shelter and clothing and may be organised and run by community organisations (often with the help or volunteers) or by government departments. These programs may be supported by government, charities, churches and individual donors.

Income sources

Many non-profit organizations such as Goodwill Industries maintain a mission to "provide skill development and work opportunities to people with barriers to employment", though most of these organizations are not primarily geared toward homeless individuals. Many cities also have street newspapers or magazines: publications designed to provide employment opportunity to homeless people or others in need by street sale.

While some homeless have paying jobs, some must seek other methods to make money. Begging or panhandling is one option, but is becoming increasingly illegal in many cities. Despite the stereotype, not all homeless people panhandle, and not all panhandlers are homeless. Another option is busking: performing tricks, playing music, drawing on the sidewalk, or offering some other form of entertainment in exchange for donations. In cities where plasmapheresis centers still exist, homeless people may generate income through frequent visits to these centers.

Homeless people have been known to commit crimes just to be sent to jail or prison for food and shelter. In police slang, this is called "three hots and a cot" referring to the three hot daily meals and a cot to sleep on given to prisoners. Similarly a homeless person may approach a hospital's emergency department and fake physical or mental illness in order to receive food and shelter.^{[citation needed]}

Invented in 2005, in Seattle, Bumvertising, an informal system of hiring the homeless to advertise by a young entrepreneur, is providing food, money, and bottles of water to sign-holding homeless in the Northwest. Homeless advocates accuse the founder, Ben Rogovy, and the process, of exploiting the poor and take particular offense to the use of the word "bum" which is generally considered pejorative.

Australia

In Australia the Supported Accommodation Assistance Program (SAAP) is a joint Commonwealth and state government program which provides funding for more than 1,200 organisations which are aimed to assist homeless people or those in danger of becoming homeless, as well as women and children escaping domestic violence . They provide accommodation such as refuges, shelters and half-way houses, and offer a range of supported services. The Commonwealth has assigned over $800 million between 2000-2005 for the continuation of SAAP. The current program, governed by the Supported Assistance Act 1994, specifies that "the overall aim of SAAP is to provide transitional supported accommodation and related support services, in order to help people who are homeless to achieve the maximum possible degree of self-reliance and independence. This legislation has been established to help the homeless people of the nation and help rebuild the lives of those in need, the joining of the states also helps enhance the meaning of the legislation and demonstrates the collaboration of the states and their desire to improve the nation as best they can.

United States

Housing First is an initiative to help the homeless get re-integrated into society, and out of homeless shelters. It was initiated by the federal government's Interagency Council on Homelessness. It asks cities to come up with a plan to end chronic homelessness. In this direction, there is the belief that if homeless people are given independent housing to start off with, with some proper social supports, then there would be no need for emergency homeless shelters, which it considers a good outcome. However this is a controversial position.

In Boston, Massachusetts, in September 2007, an outreach to the homeless was initiated in the Boston Common, after some arrests and shootings, and in anticipation of the cold winter ahead. This outreach targets homeless people who would normally spend their sleeping time on the Boston Common, and tries to get them into housing, trying to skip the step of an emergency shelter. Applications for Boston Housing Authority were being handed out and filled out and submitted. This is an attempt to enact by outreach the Housing First initiative, federally mandated. Boston's Mayor, Thomas Menino, was quoted as saying "The solution to homelessness is permanent housing". Still, this is a very controversial strategy, especially if the people are not able to sustain a house with proper community, health, substance counseling, and mental health supportive programs.

Refuges for the homeless

There are many places where a homeless person might seek refuge.

Outdoors: On the ground or in a sleeping bag, tent, or improvised shelter, such as a large cardboard box, in a park or vacant lot.
Shantytowns: Ad hoc campsites of improvised shelters and shacks, usually near rail yards, interstates and high transportation veins.
Derelict structures: abandoned or condemned buildings
Squatting in an unoccupied house where a homeless person may live without payment and without the owners knowledge or permission.
Vehicles: cars or trucks are used as a temporary or sometimes long-term living refuge, for example by those recently evicted from a home. Some people live in vans, sport utility vehicles, covered pick-up trucks, station wagons, sedans, or hatchbacks.
Public places: Parks, bus or train stations, airports, public transportation vehicles (by continual riding where unlimited passes are available), hospital lobbies or waiting areas, college campuses, and 24-hour businesses such as coffee shops. Many public places use security guards or police to prevent people from loitering or sleeping at these locations for a variety of reasons, including image, safety, and comfort.
Homeless shelters: such as emergency cold-weather shelters opened by churches or community agencies, which may consist of cots in a heated warehouse, or temporary Christmas Shelters.
Inexpensive Boarding houses: Also called flophouses, they offer cheap, low-quality temporary lodging.
Residential hotels, where a bed as opposed to an entire room can be rented cheaply in a dorm-like environment.
Inexpensive motels also offer cheap, low-quality temporary lodging. However, some who can afford housing live in a motel by choice. For example, David and Jean Davidson spent 22 years at a UK Travelodge.
24-hour Internet cafes are now used by over 5,000 Japanese "Net cafe refugees". An estimated 75% of Japan's 3,200 all-night internet cafes cater to regular overnight guests, who in some cases have become their main source of income.
Friends or family: Temporarily sleeping in dwellings of friends or family members ("couch surfing"). Couch surfers may be harder to recognize than street homeless people
Underground tunnels such as abandoned subway, maintenance, or train tunnels are popular among the permanent homeless. The inhabitants of such refuges are called in some places, like New York City, "Mole People". Natural caves beneath urban centers allow for places where the homeless can congregate. Leaking water pipes, electric wires, and steam pipes allow for some of the essentials of living.

Health care for the homeless

Health care for the homeless is a major public health challenge.

Homeless people are more likely to suffer injuries and medical problems from their lifestyle on the street, which includes poor nutrition, substance abuse, exposure to the severe elements of weather, and a higher exposure to violence (robberies, beatings, and so on). Yet at the same time, they have little access to public medical services or clinics. This is a particular problem in the US where many people lack health insurance: "Each year, millions of people in the United States experience homelessness and are in desperate need of health care services. Most do not have health insurance of any sort, and none have cash to pay for medical care."

Homeless persons often find it difficult to document their date of birth or their address. Because homeless people usually have no place to store possessions, they often lose their belongings, including their identification and other documents, or find them destroyed by police or others. Without a photo ID, homeless persons cannot get a job or access many social services. They can be denied access to even the most basic assistance: clothing closets, food pantries, certain public benefits, and in some cases, emergency shelters.

Obtaining replacement identification is difficult. Without an address, birth certificates cannot be mailed. Fees may be cost-prohibitive for impoverished persons. And some states will not issue birth certificates unless the person has photo identification, creating a Catch-22.

This problem is far less acute in countries which provide free-at-use health care, such as the UK, where hospitals are open-access day and night, and make no charges for treatment. In the US, free-care clinics, especially for the homeless do exist in major cities, but they are usually over-burdened with patients.

The conditions affecting the homeless are somewhat specialized and have opened a new area of medicine tailored to this population. Skin conditions and diseases abound, because homeless people are exposed to extreme cold in the winter and they have little access to bathing facilities. Homeless people also have more severe dental problems than the general population. Specialized medical textbooks have been written to address this for providers.

There are many organizations providing free care to the homeless in countries which do not offer free medical treatment organised by the state, but the services are in great demand given the limited number of medical practitioners. For example, it might take months to get a minimal dental appointment in a free-care clinic. Communicable diseases are of great concern, especially tuberculosis, which spreads more easily in crowded homeless shelters in high density urban settings.

In 1999, Dr. Susan Barrow of the Columbia University Center for Homelessness Prevention Studies reported in a study that the "age-adjusted death rates of homeless men and women were 4 times those of the general US population and 2 to 3 times those of the general population of New York City".

A proposed solution to homelessness

In 2007 urban designer and social theorist Michael E. Arth proposed a controversial national solution for homelessness that would involve building nearly carfree Pedestrian Villages in place of what he terms "the current band-aid approach to the problem."^[48] A prototype, Tiger Bay Village, was proposed for near Daytona Beach, FL. He claims that this would be superior for treating the psychological as well as psychiatric needs of both temporarily and permanently homeless adults, and would cost less than the current approach. It would also provide a lower cost alternative to jail, and provide a half-way station for those getting out of prison. Work opportunities, including construction and maintenance of the villages, as well as the creation of work force agencies would help make the villages financially and socially viable. ^[49]^[50]^[51]

International law and homelessness

Since the publication of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (Charter of the United Nations -- UN) in 1948, the public perception has been increasingly changing to a focus on the human right of housing, travel and migration as a part of individual self-determination rather than the human condition. The Declaration, an international law reinforcement of the Nuremberg Trial Judgements, upholds the rights of one nation to intervene in the affairs of another if said nation is abusing its citizens, and rose out of a 1939-1945 World War II Atlantic environment of extreme split between "haves" and "have nots." The modern study of homeless phenomena is most frequently seen in this historical context.

Homelessness in specific countries

Main articles: Homelessness in the United States, Homelessness in Canada, Homelessness in Australia, and Homelessness in the United Kingdom

Statistics for developed countries

In 2005, an estimated 100 million people worldwide were homeless.

The following statistics indicate the approximate average number of homeless people at any one time. Each country has a different approach to counting homeless people, and estimates of homelessness made by different organizations vary wildly, so comparisons should be made with caution.

European Union: 3,000,000 (UN-HABITAT 2004)

United Kingdom: 10,459 rough sleepers, 98,750 households in temporary accommodation (Department for Communities and Local Government 2005)

Canada: 150,000 (National Homelessness Initiative - Government of Canada)

Australia: In total, 99,900 people were homeless in 2001

14,200 sleeping rough (In improvised dwellings or tents, or in streets, parks, cars or derelict buildings). 14,300 in emergency or transitional housing. 48,600 were defined as homeless because they were staying with another household and had no usual residence. Finally, 22,900 people living in boarding houses were included in the homeless count. (ABS: 2001 Census)

United States: According to HUD's July 2008 3rd Homeless Assessment Report to Congress, in a single night in January 2007, single point analysis reported to HUD showed there were 671,888 sheltered and unsheltered homeless persons nationwide in the United States.^[55]. Also, HUD reported the number of chronically homeless people (those with repeated episodes or who have been homeless for long periods, 2007 data) as 123,833.^[55] 82% of the homeless are not chronically homeless, and 18% are (6% Chronically Homeless Sheltered, 12% Chronically Homeless Unsheltered). Their Estimate of Sheltered Homeless Persons during a One-Year Period, October 2006 to September 2007, that about 1,589,000 persons used an emergency shelter and/or transitional housing during the 12-month period, which is about 1 in every 200 persons in the United States was in a homeless facility in that time period. Individuals accounted for 1,115,054 or 70.2% and families numbered 473,541 or 29.8%. The number of persons in sheltered households with Children was about 130,968.

Japan: 20,000-100,000 (some figures put it at 200,000-400,000) Reports show that homelessness is on the rise in Japan since the mid-1990s.

Developing and undeveloped countries

The number of homeless people worldwide has grown steadily in recent years. In some Third World nations such as India, Nigeria, and South Africa, homelessness is rampant, with millions of children living and working on the streets. Homelessness has become a problem in the countries of China, Thailand, Indonesia, and the Philippines despite their growing prosperity, mainly due to migrant workers who have trouble finding permanent homes and to rising income inequality between social classes.

For people in Russia, especially the youth, alcoholism and substance abuse is a major cause and reason for becoming and continuing to be homeless.

Ferrari 355TB Review

2008-10-08T01:43:00.000-07:00

Back in the ancient days when people beyond the city limits of Bangalore cared about IT, I started and ran a little enterprise software company. It was tough to recruit people to our profitable and growing outfit because there were so many venture capital-backed employers out there flooding the airwaves and newspapers with ads.

I made an executive decision: refer five people and we give you a Honda S2000 convertible; refer 10 people and we give you a Ferrari. This was all arranged so that the cost to the company was minimal. For one thing you only got to keep the car so long as you still worked at the company. If one of our star recruiters went back to grad school, the Ferrari reverted to the motor pool.

The decision had the desired effect. I watched with glee as the whole office stayed up until 4:00 am emailing old friends from college and random acquaintances they'd made on the Internet.

Only one minor problem remained: to get a Ferrari to park in the lot out front. The first problem was finding a Ferrari dealer. I visited ferrari.com. They linked to a Boston-area dealer but the phone company said that the number was disconnected. I telephoned some Ferrari dealers in other cities and they told me that (1) there was an 18-month waiting list for a new F360, (2) the old Boston-area dealer had gone belly-up, and (3) a new dealership, Ferrari of New England, could be reached at (617) 559-0123.

18-month waiting list? I tried dealers in obscure parts of the country and in Europe. The story was the same all over the world: everyone was obscenely rich, the price of a Ferrari seemed like a rounding error, and the Ferrari factory couldn't keep up. Or perhaps the real answer is that Ferrari didn't want to expand production on the theory that cash-bleeding companies with $1 million in revenue would continue to be valued at $20 billion or more.

The idea of a Ferrari was more important than whether it is an F355 or F360. So we settled for a $135,000 hardtop (the "TB" part of "F355TB") from Philippe Chanial at Ferrari of New England. The car was a 1999 model, had 3000 miles on it and another year or so of warranty. In the day or two that it took to get the deposit to Philippe, someone apparently bought the car out from under us. However, three weeks later he was able to deliver a nearly identical car from California for a few thousand dollars more. We elected to lease the car from Mitch Katz at Premier Financial (203-267-7700), a company that specializes in this kind of car.

Thus did we find ourselves in possession of a 1999 Ferrari F355 TB with 4000 miles on it, paying about $2,200/month to Premier. The color is bright yellow, which is what the Great Unwashed always pick on immediately. "Why isn't it red?" they ask. We try to explain that this has been a Ferrari racing color, that it is the color behind their logo, etc., but it doesn't work.

First Impression

The car sat in our parking lot for a few days under rainy Boston skies. The factory alarm system didn't generate any false alarms. Having previously owned an aftermarket Clifford alarm, this was a welcome relief to me.

First Drive

If this were Car and Driver magazine, I'd be writing about an one-day round-trip to Nova Scotia and back. Instead, this is about a Sunday afternoon drive from Central Square in Cambridge to visit my 98-year-old grandfather in a nursing home in Melrose, about 7 miles NE.

Adjusting the seat to fit my 6-foot frame was difficult. The steering wheel tilts and that helped, but there really isn't quite enough legroom for an American body. Nor is there enough room among the pedals for my size 13.5 shoes. There is a dead pedal for your clutch foot but you can't really stretch your left leg. Interior storage is minimal. What would have been the glove box is a passenger-side airbag. There are no map pockets. There really isn't even enough room to hold the owner's manual!

The next thing I noticed was the nearly-empty gas tank: "thanks for your $140k but our margins are too thin to top this thing off with 13 gallons of premium...".

Poking through traffic in Cambridge and Somerville, I was pleasantly surprised at (1) how tight the car feels over potholes, (2) the versatility of the engine, which won't stall even if you slow down to idle speed in 2nd gear but which is also happy to be pushed to its 8500 RPM redline, and (3) the visibility all around.

The gated shifter (6-speed close-ratio manual, push down, left, and back to engage reverse) is stiff when moving from first to second gear and during aggressive driving, it is easy to miss the shift from second to third. My daily driver is a Toyota minivan with automatic transmission and therefore I surprised myself by not stalling the Ferrari when starting up from a traffic light, even stopped uphill.

On the Interstate at 70 mph the roar of the engine is overwhelming. The classical radio station disappears into the noise and the volume controls are too far away from the driver's hands to adjust, even if one were willing to divert one's attention long enough to find the little up/down pushbottons (hint to Ferrari engineers: I heard that this "knob" idea is going to catch on).

I stopped at a gas station to make sure that I knew how to fill up the tank. In some ways I was glad that Ferrari of New England hadn't done it. The gas cap is machined from a solid block of aluminum. Instead of resting it on the pump the way I do with my Toyota's, I put this one in my shirt pocket so that I would be sure not to leave it at the station.

Once back in the city, I felt foolish driving the F355. At all times I felt that I was actively controlling the car's urge to go from 0-60 in 4.6 seconds. Given that I was just trying to make it through 10 stoplights in one mile from the highway to the office, it seemed kind of silly. It was sort of how an Olympic weightlifter must feel if asked to open a jar.

Bottom line: this is not a car for city driving; it is not a car for impressing chicks (guys like it); this is not a car for highway driving (too noisy, not comfortable enough for long drives, and you'd have to go 130 mph to begin using the F355's limits), but it is still a great car! A driver of ordinary skill can spend five minutes reading the owner's manual and then zoom off into the sunset. Compare that to the last desktop computer application that you tried to learn.

If you've got an estate in Greenwich and some country roads nearby, you will want a Ferrari.

Second Drive

Our offices at this little company were on the open plan so that teams of developers could work together (i.e., shout at each other). One day it occurred to me: instead of separating people with cubicle walls, why not separate them with fish tanks? A 300-gallon fish tank filled with a rock ridge will provide adequate privacy and an ever-changing show, for about the same price as Herman Miller was charging for a boring partition.

The two aquarium service companies that had set up our tanks were both based in out-of-town retail shops and I'd never visited either. It was a lovely Sunday afternoon so I hopped in the Ferrari and headed south to Fall River to see the fish at Aquatic Designs (508-672-5471; no longer doing retail). I opened the driver's door and Alex hopped right into the passenger seat, leaning his head at first against the side bolster.

As we headed south over the broken temporary pavement on Boston's Central Artery, it became clear that the passenger seat of a Ferrari is not large enough for a 70-lb. Samoyed. The dog turned around a few times and finally settled down with his back legs on the passenger seat, his front legs in the console area behind the shifter, and his head on my right thigh.

Traffic was heavy until we got onto 24S. I began to appreciate the F355's straight-ahead assurance as the road opened out. It really is nice to drive on the highway when the car requires no little corrections. Looking down at the speedometer reading 75, I began to worry about the jack-booted Massachusetts State Police. But then it occurred to me that I was in the middle lane and people in towering sport-utilities like the Ford Valdez were passing me on the left. Unless people in southern Massachusetts were having a very tough day, the speedometer is optimistic by about 10 mph.

Pulling into the parking lot, two of Sharon's employees were standing outside the stoor. The young woman said "beautiful" and the young man agreed with her. She was talking about Alex and he was talking about the car.

It was getting dark as I got onto 195W to Providence. Despite the dusk, people in BMWs waved to me. People just get pissed off when they see a rich bastard driving a Mercedes, but car enthusiastics are genuinely appreciative of anyone who is kind enough to buy a Ferrari and drive it around for their visual and auditory pleasure.

Traffic was really heavy driving up 95N back to Boston. Sport-utilities and pickups towered over me and I felt claustrophobic. The traffic opened up a bit as we left Providence behind and I felt a hurricane blast of cold wind in my face. The joy of open-window motoring? No. The result of letting a Samoyed adjust the ventilation controls with his paws.

A variety of exit ramps gave me the opportunity to throw the car a bit harder into corners. It is perfectly neutral without a hint of oversteer if you lift the throttle in a turn. On the other hand, the car does not feel completely settled when cornering over rough pavement.

The next stop was Uncle Ned's Fish Factory (508-533-5969), 11.5 miles west of 128 on Route 109 in Millis. These guys are the African cichlid experts in Massachusetts and they had an amazing variety of fish, including some marked "not for sale" because they weren't sure how healthy they'd turn out to be. This indicated a level of care that you'll never find at Petco. Uncle Ned has Freshwater Stingrays under his front counter, breeding cichlids in the back, a reasonable selection of marine fish, and a lot of freshwater fish that I'd simply never seen. I fell in love with a couple of Synodontis Multi-punctatus. These are African catfish, white with black spots, and these particular two were swimming throughout a large tank in an uncharacteristically lively manner. Dan at Uncle Ned's very carefully put them into separate bags, each with some pure oxygen and water conditioner. The F355 has a fairly good-sized trunk in between the front wheels thanks to the lack of a spare tire. Without a spare tire, what do you do if you run over a nail? Ferrari includes a can of stuff that will supposedly reinflate and plug a hole in one of the four tires that are already on the car. Anyway, the bottom line is that there was plenty of room for the catfish.

The ride back to 128 and the Mass Pike was uneventful and the catfish are now happily installed in our largest African tank.

The Last Drive

The Ferrari worked out very well for our old company. Our unorthodox and photogenic approach to recruiting got us written up in some national magazines, including Fortune. I sold the company to some venture capitalists who decided that my management structure had been all wrong and that giving small programming teams profit-and-loss responsibility was insane. Where I had made several million dollars per year in profit they managed to go through $50 million in cash in 18 months before shutting the company down. They did make a profit on one item, however... the Ferrari 355tb sold for more than I paid.

The Value of an MIT Education

A lot of the programmers that I hired were MIT graduates, which made sense because so many of the founders were MITers and our offices were in Cambridge, a short ride on the T from the MIT campus. Our building manager, however, did not have the benefit of an MIT or any college education. He was just a local kid. Being in charge of the parking lot in addition to the building he had the keys to the Ferrari and often took it out on joyrides, always without incident or damage.

By contrast a day or two after the Honda S2000 arrived I handed the keys to a 23-year-old MIT graduate who had done a nice job with a computer program. He got less than 1 mile from the office before losing control of the little Honda convertible and wrecking the machine in a single-car accident on Memorial Drive.

PORSCHE 959 Review

2008-10-08T01:35:00.000-07:00

It began with the fact that in 1972 CEO Ernst Fuhrmann (Ernst Fuhrmann) conceived depart from the "Porshe" style and make a model of a "normal" engine and the "normal" cool it, that is water.
The results of its efforts are often seen on European routes is the model 924, 944 and, of course, a powerful 928, which was not just a Porsche instead of the flagship 911 model. Although Fuhrmann Company pulling in a time of crisis, but as soon as they passed, its influence has strong protest Ferry Porsche, followed by Fuhrmann quickly gave way to a new "chief executive".
At this time hot Post by Peter Schultz, an American of German descent who had waited decisive action. And Schulz was not long in coming. First, it has invested heavily in the 911 rd, which have already been forgotten. There cabriolet 911, "so painless" adopted in Frankfurt in 1982. But a year later, in 1983 to film the public eye was the first time Porsche 959.After everything possible and impossible, he embodies the most modern sports a car logically from Porsche. It was one of the most expensive and most expeditious and car nines in the history of world famous brands.
The draft, surprisingly, has proved viable. It was originally produced only 20 "military" vehicles, which began their victorious march to the world championships. It was a Super car and pastors, who dominated the race Paris-Dakar 1984-1986. Only after three and a half years, the first "civilian" customers were promised "exclusive" showing phenomenal patience.
A huge even by today's standards of value DM 420.000 (80-x amount was fantastic and did) make the machine available only to very rich people. For example, 959 immediately extensive millionaire Boris Becker. In 1987, the company announced the production of two such as car nines.
Transmission included a box and four programmers chosen gear ratios, enabled to keep the electronic control angles hoisting and lowering. Advanced drive complement electronic anti-lock brakes system (ABS). Silent smooth riding, a sense of security, and the excellent dynamic performance.
The complex, managed Transmission Electronics was founded in the early development model 911 with the stroke of the specimen in 1981. But this time, the distribution of torque followed so. system electronic coupling Porsche (Porsche Control Clutch). Six-gearbox, despite the enormous torque of 530 Nm, in conjunction with the main couple had super short gear relations.
Suspension also had its small secrets. For example, the control system clearance. Maximum speed achieved in the body of 124 mm above the road, but it should not be forgotten that we are a car logically to conquer roads, and therefore it is possible to take a provision of 150 mm or even 178 mm
Upcoming African desert hardship forced not only assists in the body, but at the same time, make it much harder to normal. Therefore, the steel frame was equipped light and strong wings, doors, trunk lid and hood made of materials related to the aerospace industry rather than a car.
Design is a separate branch of the evolution of the model 911. More advanced tail with the "military" wing, fundamentally thick in the body; Rear wings can be seen for radiator cooling air pumped air. Lattice on the front bumper "responsible" for the addition of air to the brakes and cooling radiators, lamps drowned in the body, small triangular mirrors.

Aerodynamics body (Sh = 0.31) has greatly contributed to a record year for speed serial for a V-nines 317 km / h. Only in the 87th year, Ferrari F40 exceeded the figure of 6 km / h. Like other Porsche Porsche 959 has been a baptism of Le Mans. After minor modifications carried out for the race this level, this machine under the symbol 961 is the first in a class GTX and 7 th in absolute credit, which could be regarded as a success.

Interior and car pastors did not do the extraordinary. The owner of Porsche with the experience was surprised to discover in the 959th familiar model 911 Turbo finishing.

Wheels for serial copies were suitable size 235/45- and 255/40-VR17 wall and the central nut, as most of racing and car nines.

Nevertheless, one of the best and car smuggle created ever Porsche, quickly became a classic icon and the company. Bold project embodied in life, was the work of Peter Schultz of the Wall Porsche AG. Some time later, and he left the company.
has infinite capacity to improve. The market is a collection car smuggle it occurs now. Mercedes in the middle of 80, and today remains one of the extraordinary and stunning family of Porsche. The production model until 1988.

Nokia N81 Review

2008-10-07T09:39:00.000-07:00

A possible alternative to the N95, the N81 comes with a fantastic 8 Gbytes of memory, outstandingly good music and games playing features, a superb high-res screen, 3G video calling and fast downloads, Wireless LAN, and an optional GPS module. Its camera can't match the best, and the phone feels a bit plasticky, but it's still worth considering.
Best buy: *Free* with half-price line rental from Mobiles.co.uk; or on Pay as you Go from the Carphone Warehouse at £249.95.

The Nokia N81 is a very powerful multimedia device that is in some ways like the Nokia N95's little brother. Available in a choice of Cobalt Blue or Graphite Grey, it's a really nicely designed slide phone that's chunky and heavier than the N95, but slightly slimmer. The first thing that strikes you about the N81 is the huge number of keys and buttons! In addition to the usual number keys and Navi Wheel, there are dedicated keys for playing games and accessing music & video: play/pause, rewind, forward & stop. You'll either love this or hate it. We found that the whole user interface is built on the idea of complexity, as the menus and settings can be quite overwhelming, but offer full control over every aspect of the device. The N81 is very much a hard-core SmartPhone, and if this sounds like your kind of phone, then you'll love it to bits.

There are a few areas where the N81 can't keep up with the N95. The screen is the first thing that you notice: although it's a high quality display with 16.7 million colours and 320 x 240 pixel resolution (the same as the N95), the screen is physically about 15% smaller. More seriously, the camera is a poor cousin of the N95's 5 megapixel camera: the N81's camera has just 2 megapixels and lacks autofocus. So, if camera quality is important to you, you'd definitely be better off with the N95. SatNav is missing too, although the Nokia Wireless GPS module is available as an optional extra. The Nokia Maps application is included as standard. So really the shortcomings of the N81 compared with the N95 aren't too great.

Now let's take a closer look at what the N81 does have. The first feature that really differentiates the N81 from the competition is the whopping 8 Gbytes of internal memory. This is enough to store 2,000 music tracks. The N81 has a fantastic music player that can give the iPhone a run for its money. The music player supports all common music formats including MP3, AAC and WMA, as well as Windows Media DRM. Managing playlists is a breeze, and the device can synchronise music with Windows Media Player. There's a 5-band equaliser, support for Bluetooth stereo headsets and a 3.5mm headphone jack. In addition, the RealPlayer media player supports full-screen video playback. There's also a built-in FM radio with Visual Radio support that tells you what song is playing, and other info. Music lovers have everything that they could want from the N81.

The N81's other focus is gaming. We've already mentioned the dedicated games keys on the front. Games can be played in portrait or landscape mode, making full use of the fantastic 16.7 million colour display. The N81's secret is that it includes support for Nokia's NGage series of games. The choice of games is excellent and the quality of the 3D graphics is exceptional. If you're serious about games, then this is seriously highly recommended.

The list of what the N81 can do goes on ... it's a quadband 3G phone that supports video calls with a second front-facing video camera. It's fully equipped for wirefree use with Bluetooth and Wireless LAN support, voice-independent speech recognition and voice commands, automatic answering with a compatible headset or car kit, internet calls using VoIP, ... Really there isn't much that the N81 doesn't do, and being a Symbian phone the wealth of 3rd party applications that are available for download is huge.

As always with Symbian devices there's a tendency for the N81 to be slow or to freeze if pushed too hard, although the 8 Gbytes of memory certainly helps here. To really get the most out of the N81 you'll have to have used a SmartPhone before, or be prepared to invest time learning how to use it properly. If you don't like high-tech then keep well away, but if the music and games features appeal, then you'll do well with the N81.

Features of the Nokia N81 include:

Operating system: Series 60 version 3.1, Symbian 9.2
2 megapixel camera with 20x digital zoom and flash
VGA video capture at 15 frames/second
Front-facing camera for video calls
RealPlayer Media Player
Display: 16.7 million colours, 320 x 240 pixels (2.4 inches)
Nseries music player supports MP3 (VBR), AAC, eAAC+, AAC+, WMA/M4A, WAV
Stereo FM radio with Visual Radio support
Nokia Stereo Music Headset supplied
Gaming: supports N-Gage games (Space Impact Light, Asphalt game demo, Fifa soccer 2007 demo games included)
Messaging: SMS, MMS, e-mail with support for images, videos, music and documents
Talking ringtone
Speaker independent name dialing
Voice commands
Voice recorder
Speed dialing
Integrated hands-free speaker
Automatic redial
Automatic answer with compatible headset / car kit
Internet calls (VoIP)
Nokia push to talk (PoC)
Java MIDP 2.0
Advanced contacts database with support for multiple phone and e-mail details per entry, also supports thumbnail pictures and groups
Nokia Web Browser with Mini Map
Memory: 8 Gbytes (supports microSD memory cards)
Connectivity: Bluetooth 2.0, WLAN (802.11 b/g), USB 2.0
3G (WCDMA 2100) + Quadband GSM E850/900/1800/1900MHz
Size: 102 x 50 x 18 mm
Weight: 140g
Talktime: 3 hours (3G) - 4 hours (2G)
Battery standby: up to 400 hours
Music playback time: up to 11.5 hours

Nokia 6500 Slide Review

2008-10-07T09:34:00.000-07:00

The Nokia 6500 Slide is a slide design 3G phone with an excellent 3.2 megapixel camera and a large hi-res LCD display. It offers video calling, and MP3 player, an FM radio, expandable memory and Bluetooth. On the negative side it's heavier than average and its battery life could be better. Also, be aware that quite a few of our users are finding that their phones arrive with faults and have to be be replaced. Available in silver or black.
Best buy: *Free* with half-price line rental from Dialaphone (Silver) or Black or direct from Three (Black) or Three (Silver); or on Pay as you Go for £119.99 from Three (Black).

The Nokia 6500 Slide is ... wait for it ... a slide design version of the Nokia 6500 Classic. Or is it? You'd think that two phones that have the same model number and are so similar in appearance would have the same features, but no, the guys at Nokia clearly thought that would be too boring.

"Hey Aleksi! Why not release two phones with the same name but make them completely different inside?" ... "Cool idea Joonas! Let's put a nice 3.2 megapixel camera with flash and autofocus inside the 6500 Slide and a rubbish 2 megapixel one inside the 6500 Classic." ... "Niko thinks the Slide should have a bigger screen - that's what those Samsung boys do with their slide phones." ... "Roosa has a great idea - let's make them both 3G but only allow video calls using the Slide (hey, hey)"... "Arttu thinks that the Slide should have a memory card expandable to 4 Gbytes, but we won't put a memory card slot in the Classic at all!" ... "and why not put an FM radio into the Slide too, Kristiina? But not in the Classic!" ... "Oh and one more thing, Matias - because we left all the good bits out of the Classic we can make it ultrathin, but keep the Slide big and heavy!"

"So, run this past me one more time, Johanna. We make two phones with the same name. One is a Slide and one is a Classic. We put all the best features into the Slide, but we make the Classic really thin and better looking. And we sell them both for the same price! Our customers are gonna love this idea. How they will laugh at our wacky Finnish sense of humour! Those boring Swedish squares at Sony Ericsson will be so jealous!"

Nokia 5310 XpressMusic Review

2008-10-07T09:32:00.000-07:00

In a nutshell: This is a good music phone from Nokia that can rival Sony Ericsson's Walkman range. We love the ultraslim, lightweight design, the practical keypad and the hot looks (choice of red or blue). The 5310 has a fully loaded music player and FM radio, up to 4 Gbytes of memory for storing songs, a 2 megapixel camera and Bluetooth connectivity. The battery life is below average, and some users have reported a problem with freezing, but this phone is definitely worth a look.
Best buy: *Free* with half price line rental from Mobiles.co.uk; or on Pay as you Go from the Carphone Warehouse (Pink or Red) at £79.95.

Oh yes! Nokia's XpressMusic range has moved up a gear and Sony Ericsson had better watch out. The Nokia 5310 XpressMusic is a classic-shape music phone available in a choice of red or blue. It's an ultrathin phone, at just 9.9 mm, and has a lovely practical design with a good sized conventional keypad and a 5-way navigation key (Sony Ericsson take note!) There are three dedicated music keys placed at the side of the screen and volume keys along the edge.The bevelled edge makes it easy to hold in your palm, and the red or blue stripes are funky but not over the top. We like the look, we like the feel. This is definitely a phone that you can enjoy even when it's switched off, and it's small and light enough to carry anywhere - jeans pocket, shirt pocket or handbag.

This is primarily a music phone, and it's equipped with a full function music player and FM radio. The music player has support for playlists, album art and an equaliser. You can listen to your music using the built-in loudspeaker (which is a bit on the quiet side), or preferably using the stereo headset supplied or a Bluetooth wireless headset (optional extra). The 5310 has a new upgraded audio chip, and the audio quality is impeccable. Really, the music player is just as easy to use as one of Sony Ericsson's Walkman phones, or even a dedicated MP3 player. We like the fact that there's a decent amount of memory built in (30 Mbytes), but you'll definitely want to kit the phone out with a memory card: the 5310 supports microSD cards up to 4 Gbytes, which is enough for around 1,000 songs. MicroSD cards are really cheap these days (around £25 for 4GB), so really there's no reason not to go for the maximum size available.

But the 5310 is not just a music phone. As well as making calls and playing music, it will do everything that you'd expect from a mid-range non-3G phone. The camera is a respectable 2 megabytes. It lacks a flash, which is a shame, but in good light it'll take decent pics. The display is outstandingly good, with a high-res screen that's as good as anything in this price range. Although the phone isn't 3G, it supports fast downloads using EDGE and has the Opera Mini Browser built-in, so you can still browse the web, and the screen is large enough to make this feasible. The phone comes with 3 games, and you can download Java games too. The UI is quite customisable, with animated screensavers, wallpapers and downloadable themes.

If there's one thing wrong with the 5310 (and at Mobile Phones UK we love to find things wrong!) it's the battery life. Nokia quote 300 hours standby - that's 12.5 days. Forget it! You'll get 1-2 days use from this phone, depending on how much you use the features. Since it's a music phone, you'll probably use it a lot and will need to charge it most days. Get over it - this is an ultrathin phone with a large LCD screen and tons of features. This is what the battery life is like in this kind of phone. If a longer battery life is essential for you, then buy a different phone (not an ultraslim one - maybe the SE W810i or SE W910i.) A number of users are also reporting that their phone freezes or restarts. This is unacceptable, and if this happens to you, return it to the shop. If it happens again, ask for a different phone.

Features of the Nokia 5310 XpressMusic include:

2 megapixel camera with 4x digital zoom
Video camera
Display: Active matrix LCD, 240 x 320 pixels, 16 million colours, 2 inches
Music player (MP3, MP4, AAC, eAAc+, and WMA music files / OMA DRM 2.0 and Windows Media DRM)
Stereo FM radio with Vidual Radio support
Ringtones: Video ringtones, MP3 and MP4 tones, eAAC+ tones, AAC tones, WMA tones, 64-voice polyphonic MIDI, message alert tones, and alarm clock tones
Integrated handsfree speaker
Voice commands
Voice recorder
Messaging: SMS, MMS, email (SMTP, POP3 and IMAP 4) with attachments, Nokia Xpress audio messaging
Games: Music Guess, Snake III, Citybloxx, downloadable Java applications
Animated screensavers, wallpaper, themes
Internet: Opera Mini Browser, Yahoo Go!, Nokia Mobile Search, WAP 2.0, HSCSD, EDGE up to 177.6 kbps
Connectivity: Bluetooth 2.0, USB 2.0, modem
Memory: 30 Mbytes plus microSD card (up to 4 Gbytes)
Organiser: Alarm clock, calendar, to-do list, notes, calculator, stopwatch and countdown timer
Flight mode
Size: 104 x 45 x 9.9 mm
Weight: 70g
Talktime: 5.4 hours
Battery standby: 300 hours
Music playback: up to 18 hours

Nokia N96 Review

2008-10-07T09:22:00.000-07:00

In a nutshell: Nokia's flagship smartphone just got better! Complete with 16 GB built-in memory, GPS satellite navigation, a 5 megapixel camera with autofocus, 3G video calling, and every other gadget you can think of! On the downside it's large, battery life is poor, and the Symbian operating system is still not 100% reliable.
Best buy: *Free* from Dialaphone. Available now!

The Nokia N96 is probably the most eagerly anticipated phone release of 2008. But that's partly because we've been anticipating it for so long! Lengthy delays usually mean that the engineers struggled to deliver what the marketing boys promised, so we're going to be checking the N96 very carefully for signs that some of it may not work quite as it should.

But first of all, let's take the phone out of its box and just admire it, because it's a lovely piece of kit. It's big of course - slightly bigger even than the N95, and a touch heavier too - but it's not the heaviest phone ever. But putting that to one side, it's still a really nice phone to look at. It's smoother and curvier than the N95, and the buttons are less confusing.

Now, looking at the specs, it's hard to see why the N96 took such a long time to appear, because on paper it's not very different to the N95 8GB. The only significant differences are the upgrade of the Series 60 user interface from 3.1 to 3.2, the increase in flash memory from 8GB to 16GB, and the addition of Live TV. Yes, with an internal antenna and a DVB-H TV tuner, the Nokia N96 has been designed to let you watch telly on your phone. But unfortunately there is no DVB-H system broadcasting in the UK, so you can't! The good old BBC has made its iPlayer application compatible with the N96 however, so you can at least stream BBC TV and radio content to your phone, which is arguably more useful than watching broadcast TV anyway.

We noted above that the operating system has been upgraded. Well about time too, because we found the N95 to be slow and unreliable. The N96 seems to be a more stable platform, but it still freezes from time to time. Also, in our reviews of smartphones we always like to point out that if you're not familiar with the Symbian operating system, you'll find using a smartphone like the N96 much more of a challenge than using a mobile phone with a "dumb" OS.

Patience

2008-08-28T13:27:00.000-07:00

"Kayaknya, kita jangan ketemuan dulu seminggu deh"
BRAKK !! ngiiiii......ng.....
Itu tadi adalah adegan dimana Kiki, cewe yang ngarungin masa indah SMA bareng gw, marah-marah di telpon cuma gara-gara gw ga sependapat ama pendapat dia.
Sebuah pendapat yang bilang kalo seandainya seorang cowok mau nyanyiin sebuah lagu romantis buat pacarnya di stage yang disaksiin banyak orang, maka hal itu akan menjadi hal terindah dan teromantis yang bakal lama dikenang sama ceweknya.
What the F*ck, gw ga bisa nerima pernyataan kayak gitu.
Hal itu sama aja dengan gw nerima permintaan dia buat nampil di panggung dan nyanyiin sebuah lagu cinta nan melankolis buat dia, diiringi ejekan dari temen-temen gw yang tau persis gw paling antipati ama lagu cengeng.

Waktu itu gw mati-matian defend ke cewek gw, bahwa ngungkapin rasa sayang tu ada banyak cara, ga harus pake nyanyi-nyanyian kayak yang dia bilang.
Gw coba ngeyakinin dia bahwa romantisnya pacaran tu ga perlu dikasi liat ke orang-orang yang ga ada perlunya ama kita.
Gw emang ga setuju ama konsep pamer yang diusung banyak orang dalam berpacaran. Pernah aja gw jalan ama temen gw si Bosok di mall, trus kita papasan ama sepasang cowok prototype Beauty and Upil, dimana si cewek teramat sangat cantik dan cowoknya potongan upil yang udah berkerak ampe item warnanya.
Dengan senyum najong si cowok senyum-senyum sambil jalan meluk pinggang si cewek trus becanda-becanda garing ama ceweknya. Gw yang sedari lahir emang dikasi bakat sirik, langsung empet ngeliat adegan memilukan barusan, dan hampir aja gw kalap lalu ngelemparin vas bunga segede meja belajar yang ada di deket gw.

Pernah juga gw muter-muter naek motor trus berenti di gombel view buat ngeliat pemandangan kota gw sambil ngelepasin stress.
Sampe disana gw harus nerima kenyataan bahwa gombel view udah ga besahabat ama orang-orang yang tidak berpasangan. Lahan yang segitu luasnya dijejali ama pasangan-pasangan kekasih yang lagi mesra-mesraan.
Segitu banyaknya pasangan disitu, hampir semuanya maen peluk-pelukan dengan segala posisinya, bahkan ada yang sampe lips kiss segala.
Oke itu emang hak mereka buat ngelakuin itu, tapi di tempat terbuka?! tempat yang bisa diliat ama banyak orang, bagaimana mungkin kita bisa ciuman ama cewe di tempat yang bisa diliat ama orang laen?

Makanya gw ga pernah setuju ama konsep pamer-pamer pacar kayak gitu,
gw ga mau aja kalo ntar ada orang yang nyamain kita bedua sebagai pasangan protype beauty and upil, ato dianggap sebage "pemuda selangkangan bangsa" yaitu kumpulan pemuda yang hanya bisa memikirkan bagaimana caranya bereproduksi dengan baik dan benar tanpa bisa mikirin hal lainnya.

Dan benar, esoknya kiki beneran ga mau ketemu ama gw. Boro-boro ketemu, waktu gw samperin ke kelasnya, doi langsung ngacir bareng temen-temen se-Genknya.
Gw gondok banget, minggu ini adalah minggu akhir CAWU,
minggu dimana udah ga ada pelajaran sama sekali dan kita tinggal nungguin hasil raport kita dibagiin,
minggu yang udah gw persiapin untuk beduaan ama kiki di sekolah tanpa harus mikirin pelajaran sama sekali.
Dan semua rencana itu gagal cuma gara-gara dia pengen gw nampil di panggung nyanyin lagu romantis layaknya Tommy Page dengan Shoulder to Cry on-nya, Obbie Mesakh dengan Semut-semut Merah-nya atau Melina dengan Abang Tukang Bakso-nya.
Ya, menurut gw lagu abang tukang bakso melina adalah lagu romantis yang bagus banget. Gimana ga romantis, lagu ini nyeritain tentang seorang pembeli yang jatuh cinta dengan bakso sang abang. Saking cintanya, dia sampe tahu detail dari semangkok bakso yang dijual sama abangnya. Dengan sangat hati-hati dia nyingkirin hal yang enggak dia suka dari si bakso kesayangan, lalu meramu hal-hal yang dia suka dari si bakso untuk kemudian dia nikmati dengan sepenuh jiwa.
Bayangin aja kalo ada cewek yang perlakuin gw kaya melina perlakuin bakso tadi. Tu cewek bakal nyingkirin semua hal yang ga bagus di gw, bakal nganggep semua itu ga ada. Lalu tu cewe nyoba nyatuin kepingan-kepingan hal yang bagus di gw, lalu dia susun dengan hati-hati menjadi hal yang sangat indah. Kemudian gw pun menjadi mahluk terganteng dan termanis yang pernah dia lihat, untuk kemudian dia ajak untuk nikmatin hidup bersamanya.
That was Great dude !!! i wanna be the meat ball forever....

Temen gw, agung si gigi besi - gw sebut gigi besi karena kawat gigi yang nempel di mulutnya kelewat gede sampe-sampe nutupin gigi dia - nyoba berrtindak sebage temen yang baik dengan ngasi berbagai saran ke gw.
" Gimana kalo lu putus aja ama kiki? Ribet kan jalan ama cewe banyak mau kayak doi?
Agung dengan bijak ngasi celoteh pertamanya ke gw, dan gw manggut-manggut nyoba mahamin apa yang dia bilang
"trus, abis tu kiki jomblo, lalu jalan ama gw"
lanjut dia dengan ekspresi muka najis, ngarepin gw nge-iya-in sarannya
"Kambing lu gung!!"
"hahahahahahahahahaaaa...oke, gw becanda. Gimana kalo gini aja, lu coba deh manggung bawain lagu apa kek gitu, pokoknya yang romantis supaya dianya bisa jinak lagi ke elu"
"Lagu yang romantis gung? lu pan tau kalo gw paling anti lagu cengeng kayak gitu. Ada gak sih lagu romantis yang ga cengeng?"
"Ada ga ya?...eh kayaknya ada tu !"
"ya ?"
"itu..lagu yang judulnya Dona Primadona Desa. Ntu lagukan goyang abis bro, lu ga bakalan keliatan cengeng deh"
"Dona Primadona Desa-nya bang Rhoma gung?!"
"Yo'i Coooyyy......asoy geboy kan tu lagu ??"
"Taik lu...nape lu ga suruh gw bawain JUDI aja sekalian !!!!"
"HUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA....."

Semaleman gw mikirin sarannya si agung.
on stage bawain lagu romantis?? sebage orang yang paling anti pamerin kisah romantis ama orang laen, gw paling ga setuju ama konsep kayak gini.
Tapi sekarang masalahnya laen
Pacar gw ngambek gara-gara gw ga mau tampil
Gw tau, sebenernya bukan masalah nampil ato gak tampil di panggung yang dia mau. Sebenernya dia cuma pengen gw deklarasiin rasa sayang gw di depan temen-temennya. Dia cuma pengen gw ngutarain rasa sayang gw ke dia lewat ucapan, dan bukan hanya ucapan, tapi lewat nyanyian....yang romantis.

Siang itu, halaman sekolah penuh banget ama semua pelajar SMA gw. Mereka pada ngumpul di depan set panggung yang disediain buat acara musik yang rutin digelar tiap akhir catur wulan.
Dan tentu saja, kiki ada disana.
Dia masih becanda-becanda ama temen-temennya waktu gw keluar dari backstage, begitupun temen-temen gw masih pada sibuk rebutan sebotol air mineral yang baru aja dibagi-bagiin ama panitia pensi.
Begitu gw muncul anak-anak pada bengong.
Kiki yang baru aja ketawa-ketawa seketika aja diem ngeliat gw.
Anak-anak kelas tiga pada heboh ngeliat gw tampil sendirian di panggung. Yap, seumuran gw ga pernah manggung sendirian kecuali malem agustusan di kampung ngebawain puisi perjuangan dengan seragam ala pejuang kemerdekaan.
Dari semenjak belajar gitar pas SMP ampe gw SMA, gw selalu nampil bareng band badut gw dan temen-temen.
Yang paling heboh diantara mereka adalah si-Agung.
Tiba-tiba aja doi histeris lalu tereak
" Ayo dooooooooeeeellll....elu bisaaaaaaa, tancep aja brooooo, Hidup abduuuuuuuullll, jayalah bang rhomaaaaaaa, dangdut is the beeeeeeessttttt!!!"
Ngedenger agung histeris kayak gitu, Anak-anak jadi pada fokus ke panggung nungguin gw bawain dangdut ala bang Rhoma.
Gw sempet kepikiran buat buka kancing baju di dada sambil pamerin bulu dada yang baru tumbuh di sekitar puting untuk nunjukin kalo gw adalah calon raja dangdut berkutnya.
Untung otak monyet gw kerja dengan cepat. Dengan segera gw tekan napsu monyet gw yang emang agak belebihan dalam menanggapi keramaian ini dan kembali duduk kalem di tengah panggung.
Suasana kembali sepi, anak-anak pada nungguin lagu yang mau gw bawain.
Di tengah sana gw ngeliat kiki merhatiin gw, gw senyum ama dia lalu mulai petik gitar Yamaha gw.

"Shed a tear cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think bout you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now

Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow and we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience

I sit here on the stairs cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now I'll wait dear
Sometimes I get so tense but I can't speed up the time
But you know love there's one more thing to consider

Said woman take it slow and things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, oh I'll never break it
If I can't take it"

Gw bawain Patience milik Guns n Roses, sebuah lagu romantis yang ga cengeng
Lagu romantis yang ga perlu gw bawain sambil mendayu-dayu.
Sebuah lagu yang cukup ngungkapin ke kiki, bahwa gw sekarang kesepian tanpa dia
Bahwa saat ini kita bedua kurang sabar ngadepin keadaan, terlalu emosional, dan diatas semua itu, gw selalu sayang ama dia, no matter what she does....

Selese lagu gw langsung balik ke backstage.
Di belakang panggung gw nemuin kiki.
Dia bediri sendiri disana
hanya diam...
gw tau apa yang dia pikirin
gw datnegin dia lalu bilang " u know i love u babe...but i can't do more from this"
"it's enough....i love u 2"
kitapun berpelukan

geezz....miss that moment so much ^^

monkey begin

2008-08-21T18:26:00.000-07:00

Mungkin emang udah takdir bonyok (bokap-nyokap) gw punya anak dudul bin kampret ga ketulungan kaya gw, ga tau dosa apa yang udah mereka bikin sampe dapet kutukan maha dahsyat kek gini. Jangankan bonyok gw, kalo dibolehin milih, gw juga ga akan pernah ngarepin punya anak berwajah tipikal monyet, berkelakuan bak seekor raja kera nan binal serta memakai bahasa tubuh ala monyet kek gw.

Gw dilairin dari keluarga normal, nyokap cantik, bokap lumayan ganteng, kakak perempuan yang cantik2 dan abang yang cakep2. Sebage anak bungsu, emang udah nasip dan takdir gw, kalo seandainya kecantikan dan kecakepan bonyok kaga nular sama sekali ke gw. Bisa dibilang semuanya udah dihabisin ke abang-kakak gw semua. Bahkan, otak kedua orang tuapun turut disumbang abis2an buat mereka, sehingga hanya otak selepel kera imbisil yang gw dapet.

Tanda-tanda ke-abnormal-an kelairan gw kedunia sebenernya udah bisa dibaca ama datuk (kakek) gw yang emang dipercaya banyak orang bisa ngebaca pertanda dari langit. Kata kakek gw, hari2 menjelang kelairan gw sama mencekamnya kek hari2 menjelang G30S/PKI terjadi. Ada burung kematian yang berputar-putar diatas rumah, nyanyian genjer-genjer dikumandangkan, para tentara cakrabirawa berseliweran, langit gelap pekat dan hujan lebat, serta kambing dapat berbicara.
Kata datuk, "kalo bayi normal begitu lair langsung nangis, gw begitu lair langsung kencing.
Bayi normal begitu lair tali pusernya masih nyambung, gw begitu lair ga punya puser.
Bayi normal begitu lair warna kulitnya merah jambu, gw waktu lair punya kulit item kek kotoran kuda.
Bayi norm..." STOP datuk, udah cukup bicarain kenistaan dalam kelairan gw!! (dengan sigap gw hentiin cerita horor datuk)
dan hanya segitulah keterangan dari datuk tentang proses kelahiran gw, ga ada keterangan yang bisa gw dapet lagi soalnya seabis cerita itu, datuk gw sakit hingga meninggal. Gw punya feeling datuk ga tahan nanggung malu akan keberadaan cucunya sehabis cerita kek gitu, trus jatuh sakit sampe akhirnya beliau ga ada lagi.
Beberapa minggu kemudian om gw yang dokter spesialis penyakit kelamin cerita kalo datuk punya penyakit kencing manis yang ga ada hubungannya sama sekali ama jantung lemah, dan ini bikin gw lega karena datuk meninggal bukan dikarenakan malu.

okeh gw ngaco, ga mungkin ada anak manusia yang segitu ajaibnya punya proses kelairan kek calon DAJJAL kecuali gw emang dajjal beneran, dan untungnya gw bukan dajjal, karena kalo gw dajjal, saat ini bumi sedang menghadapi akhir masanya, dan gw, sebage perjaka tulen yang belum pernah nyentuh wanita ga akan terima kalo kiamat udah dekat. Gw belum sempet nyium cewe, gw belum pernah peluk2 badan cewe, nyium harum badan cewe dan tentunya ngelakuin proses yang gw sebut sebage "pengenalan ciri-ciri morfologis lawan jenis secara lebih mendalam".
Gw lair normal, tapi senormal apa gw ga tau, bonyok gw ga pernah cerita, yang mereka ceritain cuma sebatas, gw lair sebage manusia dan berjenis kelamin laki-laki dan bikin gw ga perlu mengalami krisis identitas lagi karena gw yakin gw adalah laki-laki. 14 hari seabis gw lair, bonyok udah ngelaksanain aqiqah yang berarti gw ga ada utang yang mesti gw tanggung kalo gw gede dan ini juga bikin gw lega, karena kalo gw tau aqiqah itu harus menyembelih kambing, gw ga bakalan tega ngebunuh kawan gw.

Well...that's the story of the beginning of my life dude...thanks 4 read it